Let it go.

Only when you let things "go", will you truly be satisfied with your life and existence. 

It is natural for you to seek out the things you think will edify you, but that shows you are dissatisfied with yourself.

​The question then is what ​don't you have right now? You are only assuming that you are currently "incomplete" as you are.

Why base your whole life around hypotheticals and possibilities?

When you are content with yourself, you are unaffected by what happens around you. You will also wind up being a rock for others who are flitting around aimlessly; they will be attracted to your stability.