What is, and what is not
What was, once was what will be, and now is not.
That which shall be...
If you know what shall be, it is already in the past.
It is said that the future looks bright, with that which is whiteness and lightless, that power of which is so fully formed it cannot be gazed upon,
but if that is so, then where is the beauty if it cannot be seen?
Naked eye for naked eye,
the future is but a trick of light and shadow; a conjuring trick by an Illusionist.
It is said that the future looks dim, but even more so than dim...
Black. Darkness. Abyss.
That which is black is fullness in its entirety. A space that spans the entire volume. Yet it is called emptiness.
By whom is this fullness called emptiness? Those who care not to seek out sights and wonders yet still do by the masses; filling unfulfilled; matched rituals, the come one’s, they come, all.
Do you know? or do you not know?
The question is thus, but a question still remains.
Why do you want to question?
So you do want a problem after all.
To seek happiness, you do not want to seek it. Finding is for those who want to find, and seeking or those who want to seek; only a crossroads at a juncture,
you’ll go your way and I’ll go mine,
nary the twain shall meet.
It is said that the body needs discipline. It is to keep the soul intact; for without the form that is formless will be crushed.
What will it crush if it has no form? The crushing will be for the form that is, the substance, the matter, the body.
Putting the body on the line, the bearer of sins, olives and skull paths lead body in passion; to save the sins of not sinless souls but souls who never needed the glory of sin in the beginning. For he who loved the world so much, he had forgotten, his son, in detriment if not in folly.
To seek pleasure is to seek pain; you recoil at the statement but that part of you which knows the truth cannot be silenced.
It will speak for evermore and long lasting, if the chance is given.
A crack of the window and the cold hawkish air rushes in with import and haste.
When it gazes upon itself in the glass, darkly upon darkness, and all is darkness; but emptiness...
will it see; face to face
subsuming both self and other, and another with time for tomorrow, and tomorrow
Is tipped into this dulled place today.
But are you sure it will come? Your questions need answers, but which one comes first?
Do not think that a question begs an answer, an answer can perfectly well beg
for a question, it thanks you very much for the opportunity to take leave and go elsewhere.
Leaving you with neither the question that was asked before, and now no answer certainly remains
Though, face to face, in part...
You should know then,
as the I is now known.
When you realize that your questions have no meaning, the seeker in you will die...
...but the living part of you will begin its life.
Living is a very difficult thing to do. Don't confuse this with life being difficult.
Life and living is actually not difficult, since it requires no conscious effort on your part to live. The difficult lies in becoming alive.
Essentially being born.
Not everyone who has been birthed is actually living.
Not everyone whose heart is pumping is living.
Since life doesn't require anything, there are no questions. There is no information that you need
That you ask a question, that you pursue knowledge, that you hold on to "truth" are the tell tale signs that you are yet to live.
The process of true birth is this realization; that is the delivery
...and living in this is your adolescence, adulthood, middle and old age all at once, yet their is no time.
There is no true death for life since death is its own dimension.
You recall from the Book of Matthew where the Lord said "let the dead bury the dead".
Let life birth the living.
Here we are. Part last.
Now I must give you something. You’ve been waiting for the answer, and so I am obligated to give it to you. Have you read the first three parts? It would be wise to, but this is your choice.
The meaning of life.
Wow, what a concept. However, it is a concept, you know. You must understand a thing or two about concepts: they are not reality. They are illusions. They are in you and not the world. Your problem is you think you search for meaning in the world but really you are searching yourself. When you see that you and the world are one and the same, you will find the meaning of both the world and of you. The “meaning of life” as we know it, does not exist.
Do not see these words as a cop out, and do not think I am giving you nothing or telling you that you must become an atheist or abandon your morality. You have not been tricked nor fooled. In fact, if you have the sensation that I am leading you on, when here I am in fact, giving you the key to everything… oh dear, that is not the way to get there. But don’t worry yet. I will go on a ways more. I have four hundred or so more words to get there and maybe I’ll even throw in a few extra to make sure you get what was promised.
The meaning of life.
But what is meaning? What is life? Do you know? You have to, if you are to answer the question, no? Otherwise you do not know that which you are receiving information about, and so the information becomes useless. If the boy thinks his cat is a dog, and he asks: “mother, why does the dog purr”? Well, you see the mother cannot give an accurate answer without first correcting the confusion. If she simply tells him: “no, dogs do not purr.” Well, the boy has not understood. He will be confused the rest of his life when he sees ‘dogs’ purring. He can know everything there is to know about dogs and yet will know nothing.
You are like the boy.
I tell you: “the meaning of life is in you,” or “the meaning of life doesn not exist.” You do not grasp it. If you did you’d have no need for me. Does this mean there is no meaning?
Yes and no.
Does this mean the meaning is an illusion?
Yes and no.
Does this mean the meaning is subjective?
Yes and no, yes and no, yes and no. The problem is the words. Can a word ever describe reality? Well, by definition, no -- to “describe” is to convert reality into the symbolic meaning of words and so retreat from the reality. Can a word give you something you’ve never seen before? Can word teach the blind to see?
And so you ask: “what is the meaning of life”? This is what I mean when I say there is no answer: there is none in words. But there is one in seeing, which is what you must do.
What you will see is that meaning is inside of you, and not the world. What you will see is that the world and you are not separate; cannot be separated. There is only the observer and the observed, and what you think of as you is very different than the observer. When you see all this, you will find meaning.
But something else will happen, too. You will forget your need for meaning in the first place. You will say: “Meaning? So what? Why ever did I seek such a foolish thing?”
Coming close, coming close. I have room for just a few more paragraphs.
Here it is: you’ve already got it.
Here it is: seek and you will find.
Here it is: the meaning both does and doesn’t exist.
And yet none of those are true since they are merely words.
Have I led you on?
Listen: I have and I haven’t. Can you see why that is so? Can you find the truth in my words and dispose of the fiction? There will be both, as long as you, the listener, believes in fictions and sees them in my words. I can never change that about you and so I cannot help but give them to you. You must give yourself the gift of meaning.
How, how, how?
If you are still asking, know you are on the wrong track. You are lost. This is not a problem; there is much time to find your way. But know you are not there yet.
The meaning of life: go out and find it for yourself.
I am nobody. I am a ghost. I can give you nothing. Go out and find it. You have to do it. Everybody who ever found it did so entirely by themselves. The more you read others the more time you waste!
If you are still reading, that is ok. This means you do not yet want to have truth and meaning. Perhaps you do want it, but just not right now. That is wonderful. That is fine. Enjoy the fruits of your own free choices. If you want it, it will be there for you to go get it. All is well.
Perhaps if there is answer to the question of meaning, that is it: “All is well.” “Do not be troubled.” “Worry not.” “Drop the question.” “Do not be concerned with meanings.” However, it’s not so easy that I can just tell you these things and you will do them, or understand them. Like I say, see for yourself.
Let me finish with the strongest bit of advice for you: I promise, promise, promise, no matter how it seems, that only you can find the meaning. You do not need anybody to help you. If you find it, it will be you who does it. Use your awareness of reality. See. Don’t think.
You are the meaning. Find it, find yourself, find everything. But know too there is nothing to find.
Yes and no.
In yesterday’s thought I suggested you might be confused about the question. Are you? Have you thought it through? Are you ready to receive an answer?
For many of you, one night’s reflection on this question will not be enough. It takes years of introspection to illuminate the entire consciousness of your being, to know yourself so well that you are able to understand why you do the things you do, and more pertinent here, why you ask the things you ask. But I hope you can see now, at least, how important it is to do so. God forbid you spend years chasing your own tail, pursuing a paradox, thinking you are ever closer to an answer and always becoming disappointed because you lack the perception to see that you are the one with the answer; that it is not outside of you.
This probably doesn’t help, huh? Well I can offer you something of real value while you continue your search in the meantime.
Step back. Relax.
Your questioning, your searching. It is a luxury. It is a bonus. The meaning of life? What happens when we die? These are not questions we need for living. Here you are now, reading my thoughts and you are alive. You have lived since the time you were born effortlessly and with no trouble.
Now you may say, “but I have been depressed and downtrodden, and fearful and disappointed.” Oh sure. Of course you have. These things are a part of life for all humans. But you have been alive. And that you have always done without even meaning to or desiring to.
Remember you can choose death, but not life. Life is effortless. One day you simply appear into the world, and that situation will go on until you die or you choose to leave before your time. You can experience things in life, good and bad, you can struggle with challenges, but you can never struggle to be alive.
You are here. You are living. Just for a moment, try to give thanks for that.
Now, go on questioning all you like. You may learn all manner of things about yourself or the world which you desire, but don’t let your search allow you to forget that you do not need the search in the first place, you simply choose it.
Ah, now we are getting closer to the meaning of it all. At least one more part to come.
The great zen masters and mystics all tell us we must transcend our thoughts. Reality is more than concepts. To see truth, to become fully present, the mind must be conquered.
Forget the mind, forget your plans, forget your wishes, forget your beliefs. Just for a moment. Explore the world without them and you will begin to see what you never could before.
“I have lost my mind, but I have come to my senses.” How wise.
Your thoughts are yours. They are a product of your experience, your fears, your desires. Look: what does truth have to do with you? Truth is for all of us. Tap into those senses which we all share and you will find the beauty and love that comes with understanding. Common sense. That which we all have, that which all life has. Those sensations which are common to us all. In them is truth.
The more common the sense, the more wise. The more brilliant. The more ingenious. The more true.